A Glaswegian Retrospective

This is a difficult entry to write. I just sat at the computer for a full three or four minutes, trying and failing to think of a good title for this last post. It's so complicated! So I settled for something safe and rather boring.

I've been putting off writing this entry for a little bit, for two reasons. 1) There's a lot of pressure on a last entry! It's got to sum everything up and leave the reader (intentional singularity) feeling complete and satisfied. This is why I hate english! And 2) A summary involves...well...a summing up of everything! And I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I'm still working through a lot of the experiences, in terms of how I feel about them and how I will integrate them into my "real" life.

Speaking of my "real life," it's weird being so totally re-immersed in it. I expected to feel a little at a loss, but instead it's just far too easy to just BE here again. Not joyfully liberated or anything, just BEING. Here. Normality. Almost like I never left. But I think that it's all part of the process, and Glasgow will take some time to kind of get assimilated back into life here.

Speaking of Glasgow. I had a little poster on my wall in my room. It read "What does Glasgow mean to YOU?" And I could never decide. At one point I had the thought that it is a place that I struggle "With, in, and for." Some fun facts about Glasgow: 1) It is the murder capitol of Glasgow. 2) It has a bridge that is acclaimed for the absurd number of dogs that kill themselves by jumping off of it. 3) It's shield claims the expression "The bird that never flew, the tree that never grew, the fish that never swam, and the bell that never rang." It's an absurd place. It's a place that had gruffness and depth and imagination and seediness and vivacity. It's as changeable as it's ridiculous weather. Would I ever live there? Hell no. But my study abroad experience there? Kind of perfect. It's a real place. A real place for a real experience. And real lessons.

When people ask me "How was your study abroad experience?" what will I say? I've given this some thought. I wouldn't want to say anything as one dimensional as "Fantastic!" or "Great!" because it wasn't all the time, and it deserves more depth than that. I've decided that the best adjective would be "Amazing." Because in every sense of the word it was that. I saw and learned SO much. And those things will stay with me forever. The places and the experiences and the people, too. In fact, I made a list:

THE TOP 21 THINGS I'VE LEARNED STUDYING ABROAD:

1) Look to the skies. (You never know, there might be a window! That's a U2 reference.)
                  And I mean that in the sense of a) when you need that little extra bit of inspiration, b) when you need to figure out if you are going to get absolutely soaked in the next four minutes of your walk to class, c) if you've got a few extra minutes, cloud-picture games are delightful, and d) ENJOY EVERY BIT OF SUNSHINE THAT COMES YOUR WAY!

2) It's okay to go to Starbucks every once in a while. 
                   a) Pragmatism is the potato of life. When the coffee is cheaper, delicious, and can be iced, sized, and carried away to personal preference (which it absolutely CANNOT be anywhere outside the UK), it's worth it. b) Starbucks is an excellent homesickness remedy. Reliable, consistent, and yummy! c) Treating yourself is good for your soul.

3) Smile.

4) The nature of limitations and independence.
                    This is a complicated one, so I'll elaborate, even thoughI'm not sure I'll do it justice. It's easiest to explain in terms of my Ben Nevis experience- there were two things that really stuck out to me on that trip, other than every single pebble on the way down. One was how there were times that I knew that if I didn't stop and take a break, I would pass out or collapse. There was the certain and absolute knowledge that I would not make it to the top unless I listened to what my body needed. I am a human being, and as badly as I wanted to sprint up to the top, I couldn't. I found that I have limitations that I can't break. Even more importantly than that, there were times that I was exhausted and mentally willing to give up, and then found that my body was capable of doing more than I ever thought I could. Past the point of exhaustion, I could keep going. There's a balance to it, obviously, and it's not an easy one to work out. My study abroad experience taught me both that I am limited and absolutely unlimited at the same time.

5) A good pair of shoes means the world.

6) It's okay to look forward and back, but look down at where you're walking, too.
               This is one that I continue to struggle with. Look to the past to ground yourself your roots, look to the future for anticipation and excitement, but also look to the things around you, or you'll end up missing out.

7) Give yourself a happy place, whether it be a daydream or a coffee shop.

8) Find structure but leave breathing room, as well. 


9) Always carry a rain hat. And a granola bar.


10) Style comes second. Or third or fourth. 


11) Eating alone is not as scary as it seems. In fact, being alone is lovely, sometimes.


12) Appreciate home.


13) When all else fails, keep busy.


14) People are both more and less than you ever expect them to be.


15) A little email goes a long way. So does a little song on the radio, or a little chocolate from a friend.

16) Waiting for the bus is an art. One that I'm not very good at.


17) Keep a record of some kind. It's worth it.


18) Always eat a good breakfast.


19) Don't be tempted by vegetables for 50 pence, no matter how big the bag of spinach is.


20) There's a hell of a lot more for me to learn. I am in no way a finished product.


21) A cup of coffee is always the answer. If not, tea is lovely, too.






Thank you so much to all of you that have been reading this. And to everyone that facebooked, emailed, called, or in general showed you cared. I couldn't have done it without you guys.

Now, a last pooh quote:

"If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. I’ll always be with you." -Winnie the Pooh


Much love,
Erin

One Week!

I honestly don't know if I'm saying "One Week!" in an excited, happy way, or in a panicked, terrified way. It's both and neither and definitely loaded with a ton of tumultuous emotion.

At once I'm feeling very ready to go home, but also like there are still vast amounts of abroad-related things that I haven't done yet. Ben Nevis was simultaneously and beautiful beautiful capstone to my adventures, and a reminder of how wonderful exploration is. As in, I want more of it. But I'm tired. But I know I won't have these opportunities again. At least, never the same way.

We had a lovely gluten-free birthday dinner for me at a friend's apartment a couple of nights ago. The food and the ambiance and the company were delightful, and made me realize that going home won't just be a question of fitting back into life in the states, but leaving a life behind here. Even my room here, which I've claimed no attachment too, feels just a little bit cozy and a little bit bittersweet now.

Plus, I've got finals! That's just downright stressful. No idea what to expect or how to study, so the catch-all answer? Study my butt off, of course! That always seems to be the answer. And it's never a pleasant one.

Anyway that's a little window into my brain at the moment. We are planning a picnic in the botanic gardens today, and tomorrow they are having a "Highland Games" tournament south of Glasgow. They throw logs! It's going to be awesome.

Okay, off I go. Pooh quote: "There are twelve pots of honey in my cupboard and they've been calling me for hours. I couldn't hear them properly before because Rabbit would keep talking, but if nobody says anything except those twelve pots, then I shall know where they're coming from."

Much love,
Erin

Ben Nevis!

So, I haven't posted in a little while. There have been a couple of reasons for that: 1) I haven't been doing anything really interesting (especially by comparison to the epic-ness of spring break) 2) Yes, I just climbed Ben Nevis, but that's an exception to the former because I was really freaking tired afterward and needed to recuperate.

Ben Nevis. That was a perfect way for me to celebrate my 21st. It's a big birthday and I wanted to do something big. And everything worked out exactly perfectly! Beautiful weather, wonderful people to climb with, and loads of birthday luck. The view at the summit was nothing short of breathtaking, and crystal clear. that only happens 60 days out of the year! Ten minutes after we began our descent, it was back under cloud cover. The whole experience was...enormous. I'm not sure how better to phrase it. I saw the world spread out before me and I could feel the hugeness of that expanse. And just for one day, I could claim some part of it. Claim is the wrong word...I could be involved in some part of it. I'm not doing it any justice at all. Oh well, I'm not the english major!

And yes, I even had a mug of pear cider with some of the girls when we stumbled back to our rooms in Wolfson. Also I do mean literal mug- the only dining things I have are the utilitarian ones that I've surrepticiously borrowed from downstairs.

The last couple of days have been mostly devoted to studying my butt off and taking wayyy too much time getting up and down stairs. As it turns out, climbing a mountain when not entirely in shape leaves some pleasant reminders in the following days. So, my birthday gift to myself? Aching, aching muscles. Including my ankles- I didn't even know there were muscles there!

So, if you so desire I've put up the facebook pictures from both the family trip through Britain and the Ben Nevis excursion. Enjoy!

Pooh quote: "That's funny," said Pooh. "I dropped it on the other side," said Pooh, "and it came out on this side! I wonder if it would do it again?" And he went back for some more fir-cones. It did. It kept on doing it.

Much love,
Erin